Seek To Understand - How To Discuss
Elijah King
Updated on May 12, 2026
Seek To Understand
What does it mean to try to understand?
To truly understand this, you may not have made a judgment about a person or situation. You have to develop the desire to understand, that is, the desire to see things from a different angle, to see their causes and to feel what they are feeling.What does it mean to try to understand first?
Try to understand first. Covey's message (covered in Rule 5: Understand Before Being Understood) is that people form opinions based on their own experiences.Secondly, why is it important to first understand and then be understood?
Stephen Covey calls it the fifth habit in his bestseller "7 Habits of Highly Effective People". This is essential: first try to understand, then you will be understood. The search for true understanding confirms others and their claims. This is what they want. Others learn the habit from our example.Similarly, people ask: How do I try to understand?
Read the whole series- Be proactive, not reactive.
- Start with the end in mind.
- Put things first.
- You think you win / win.
- Try to understand first, then be understood.
- Synergy (beyond the password)
- Push the saw.